December is often a quiet month in my writing business. I usually plan just to enjoy the holidays and keep up with my retainers until new projects kick off in Q1. But there is one annual bump that predictably arrives every Thanksgiving and rises to a crescendo by December 31st. The bump is this: People flood my website to learn about taking a break from social media.
It all started in 2020. At the time, I felt stuck on social media. Sites like Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook were critical for maintaining my writing business. Combined, these sites were my single greatest source of new clients. But winning those new clients required hours of my time each week.
The problem was that I hated how much time I spent online. Some people don’t seem to mind social media. For me, I disliked the anxiety I felt constantly scrolling, commenting, and posting. All I wanted to do was write, yet I felt like I was trading my precious writing time combing through internet content.
I’d pondered the idea of taking an extended break from social media for a few years. It sounded like the obvious and ultimate cure, the dream scenario. But would giving up social media slowly bury my business alive?
In December 2020, I decided to find out. I kicked off a one-year social media break and used that break as an experiment to test the bounds of my business. The catch was that I didn’t merely want to scrape by without social media. I wanted to grow my writing business by spending less time online.
And… it paid off. My business grew a lot that year. Plus, it was a blast. One of my favorite authors, Cal Newport, even wrote a blog highlighting my biggest takeaways.
Ever since the experiment, hundreds of people flood my website at the end of every year to read about my break. I can only assume they’re reading to prepare for a similar break of their own, a New Year’s digital detox resolution. If that’s you, if you’re preparing to take an extended break from social media, you have my full support. That’s why today I’m revisiting this topic on my blog for the first time in a few years.
So, here’s how to get the most out of your social media break.
Answer: Why are you taking a social media break?
This morning, I’m writing freehand. I left my phone in the bedroom, made coffee in the Chemex, and sat down with a blank sheet of paper in my home office. My mind is quiet. There is no buzz of news or news feeds. Every few minutes, I look up at my bookshelf and consider retrieving a title. Otherwise, I’m without distraction, the way I prefer to work.
The setting I just described is why I took my break a few years ago. I wanted to make the creative silence I feel this morning my status quo for a full year.
Every social media break has a hidden higher purpose. You might call it the meta goal behind your break. Every break has both an objective and a meta purpose. Maybe you’re taking a break from social media to give yourself time to study for an important exam. Your objective goal is to ace the test. But there’s also, below the surface, a meta goal: You want to regain control of your attention.
I mention the meta goal because it’s helpful to acknowledge the deeper reason behind your break. Social media is so common today. There’s a sense in which taking a break sounds like an extreme solution to a simple problem. What’s the big deal? Can’t you just use your phone less?
Taking a break from social media is a means of retaking power. You give power to the object of your attention. You don’t want to spend your limited power watching videos on the internet. You’d rather be a builder, a tinkerer, an artist, and a reader. Your power will be spent creating new things in this world.
Ultimately, a social media break isn’t just about unplugging. It’s about redesigning your days around what you truly value. Silence your feeds. Give yourself space to think.
Reclaim time from social media (and do something ambitious)
Trust me when I say you won’t know what to do with all your extra time. For most people, social media takes up more than two hours of each day—often way more. If you don’t determine a meaningful replacement for social media, then you’ll find a new way to passively distract yourself.
The alternative to passive distraction is to take deliberate control of your time. Fill the space that social media once occupied with something that matters to you. This can be as simple as adopting new hobbies. Pick up reading. Go regularly to the gym. Spend time with friends. But I suggest, for the duration of your break, that you go bigger.
Challenge yourself. See what you’re made of.
My wife Sarabeth and I recently kicked off a new shared routine. You might call it a challenge of challenges. Every six weeks we set out together to accomplish a hard goal for which there's only a 50% likelihood of success.
Our current challenge is to read the four most famous Russian novels. We’re talking 3,500+ pages in six weeks. I’ll admit, we’re on a failing trajectory, yet I’m still motivated by the effort. Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina isn’t the sort of book I’d pick up on my own, but I can already tell it’s going to be one of my favorite books I read this year.
Hard challenges introduce you to new experiences. There’s no better time to engage in hard challenges than during a social media detox.
Don't announce your social media break
I announced my social media break at the beginning. I wish I hadn’t.
Part of the power of giving up social media is realizing how little social media impacts the real relationships in your life. By announcing your break ahead of time, you’re setting yourself up to receive an unusual level of affirmation on social media. People will comment their support and so on. It gives you the false impression that social media will feel emptier without your contribution—which frankly isn’t true.
To flip this around: If you don’t tell anyone you’re off social media, no one will notice. The fact that no one notices is an important element of your break.
Maybe this point is a little painful. I hope it’s also liberating. You don’t “owe” your friends and family updates. No one is waiting for your next picture or tweet. And if they are waiting, they’ll reach out. You can text your closest friends or talk to them in-person or on the phone.
If you want to get the most out of your social media break, don’t announce it beforehand. Just disappear.
Define your digital detox and track it
One of the worst things you can do during a social media break is simply shift your screen time from one distraction to a new one. Instead of scrolling X, you’re mindlessly refreshing news sites or watching YouTube videos. You’ll open Netflix or YouTube. You’ll spend two hours gaming. In that case, you’re doomed to end your break in the same place where you started: wasting your precious life staring at the internet.
There’s nothing wrong with shows or gaming, as long as you’re intentionally engaging with those activities. The problem is when these hobbies become a passive means of escaping boredom.
The key is to define in advance what a break from social media means. It’s easy to blur the lines if you don’t clearly define them up front. For example, is YouTube social media? If not, then what rules will you put in place to prevent yourself from scrolling YouTube shorts during all your free time?
During my break, I stopped accessing my problem social media sites: Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. But I allowed myself to use Medium.com because I don’t use any of the social features in that app. Plus, Medium supported my goal of writing and publishing longform articles.
In addition to laying down the rules, you may also want to track your experiences in a notebook. The benefit of journaling is twofold.
First, journaling serves as an external memory. It’s so easy to forget stories and ideas when you don’t regularly write them down. I wish I’d kept a thorough diary of my year break.
Second, journaling changes your behavior. If you know that you need to track your daily experiences, you’re more likely to pursue interesting activities—even if you’re the only person who will ever read any particular journal entry. Journaling helps you stay accountable to yourself.
In summary: Set rules for your detox. Keep yourself accountable to those rules by tracking your experience.
Replace social media with offline activities
On a related note, I found that the best way to take a break is to make your life more analog. Strive to spend less time on screens, more time in the real world.
During my year-long break, I discovered adventure races. An adventure race is an endurance event that takes place in nature. It involves a mix of running, cycling, kayaking, and often a few other activities. In retrospect, this was my favorite aspect of my year without social media. I got outside more and formed great memories.
This can be much simpler than joining endurance sports. You can read physical books. Journal with pen and paper. Go daily to the gym. Adopt an active hobby like cycling, hiking, or swimming. You may even go old school: Read physical newspapers and magazines. You can stay abreast of what’s happening in the world, without losing your attention in a never-ending feed.
For me, I find that analog experiences are richer and more memorable than online activities. So, adopt as many as you can during your break.
Trade social media for real socializing
One of the biggest lies of social media is that digital interactions are a substitute for real connection. During your social media break, I insist that you go out of your way to foster relationships. Text friends. Call them. Buy someone a coffee just to catch up.
In adulthood, you slowly learn new hobbies that you never would have guessed for yourself as a child. I’ve had a few such experiences over the years, but perhaps the most pronounced and surprising hobby is hosting parties. Sarabeth and I love to have friends in our home. This is one of the warmest ways to connect deeply with others. Cook them a meal, sit with them at your own table or couch. Playing host is one of the most enriching interpersonal hobbies.
One way to engage more deeply during your social media break is to practice being a decent conversationalist. The ability to hold a conversation will allow you to connect on a deeper level with everyone, from complete strangers to your best friend.
The classic advice is useful here. If you want to be interesting, first be interested. Ask open-ended questions. Nod your head when someone is talking. Look them in the eye.
Final thoughts: How to take a break from social media
In the best case scenario, a social media break should change you. It’s worth asking, what would it take for you to transform while away?
I took a social media break because I believe a meaningful life thrives in the analog world. I wanted to recognize fewer internet memes, and understand more books. I didn’t want to stare at a screen all day. I desired to move and spend time outdoors.
There is a real chance that you take this social media break and, once it’s over, you return to your previous digital existence unchanged. That’s fine if a break is truly all you’re looking for. But if you’re like me, if spending your days scrolling content sounds like a waste of your one life, then I encourage you to take the following final advice seriously:
The main objective of your break should be to fill the void of social media with more meaningful alternatives. Don’t just grit your teeth and push through. Form real relationships. Adopt analog hobbies. Choose hard challenges and put in the work to complete them.
You have agency in this life. Look up from your device and create.
**
P.S. Are you doing a social media break? I’d love to hear from you. Email me about your break: alex@lewiscommercialwriting.com.
